Sunday, May 5, 2013

How My Family Came to Be Mine

I am going to share with you all my story that really explains my family and some reasons why I am so open and understanding. To get started for those of you who didn't know I am adopted. I have what is called an open adoption which means that My biological mother and adoptive parents decided that they would keep contact with each other and share pictures occasionally while I was growing up. Every adoption is different and even open adoptions vary on what the parents agreed too.

My biological mom who I call Amanda or my birth mom, got pregnant with me when she was sixteen years old. She was living in arkansas and going to high school. My biological father was seventeen, and also in high school. when my birth mom found out she was pregnant she told my birth dad and her family. My birth dad wanted to get married and start a family while my birth mom wasn't sure what would be best.

My birth mom decided that she would move out to California to live with her aunt and uncle as well as their kids, so she could make a more clear decision about what was best. She considered abortion and even had an appointment but she couldn't go through with it. She left the doctors office knowing that abortion was not her answer. Then she began to consider adoption and she met with many families to try to find the right fit. It turned out that her aunt and uncle worked at a hospital with a couple who had already adopted a little girl and were looking to adopt another child. So amanda met with this couple and their daughter. They shared similar values and religious views and seemed like great parents, but what really sold her was their happy little girl. 

Waiting for me to arrive was a long haul. My parents (who adopted me) took my birth mom on walks all over trying to get my birth mom to go into labor because I was over a week late. One day, as my mom was on the elevator, finishing yet another long shift at the hospital the doors opened. As my mom looked up ready to step out she saw my birth mom standing there. It was time. 

I am luck to say that my parent where there when I was born and had a good relationship with my birth mom. Although I was "unplanned" I was always meant to be with my parents. I was always raised with love and taught about where I came from with great honesty and no shame. I was lucky enough to have such strong moms that could bare sharing there child with another because it was the best thing for me. 

If you have any questions don't be scared to ask. I am not ashamed or shy about my life. It is the reason I am the way I am. 
My mom and I

My birth mom and I

My older sister and I (think she stole my passy)

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Social Networking

I have read two articles about social networking one is about the negative effects of social networking and the other is about 5 positive effects of social networking. The first article written by Brian Jung  has four major points. These points are false sense of connection, cyber bullying, decreased productivity, and privacy. He says that people focus so much time on these superficial relationships that our deeper connections with people will weaken. Yea I think that people do spend a lot of time on social networking sites trying to connect with people that don't really hold an important part of their lives and I can see how in some cases this could effect other relationships, but if your relationship with someone weakens because of another then I think that says something about your relationship and how much did it really mean to you in the first place.

Cyber bullying is something that everyone should be aware of and I do agree that it is a huge negative part of social networking, however there is often settings that allow a person to "block" someone from being able to leave comments or messages. I really think that to blame any type of bullying on something would be ignorant it is not social media that is the problem but rather some of the people who are using it. In fact prevention of bullying can be prevented much more easily then In really life because you can just make sure your page is private to only those who you trust.

Decreased Productivity is another negative that he talks about. Jung gives information from studies that say that companies had lost 2.2 billion a year to the social phenomenon. Again I agree that companies are loosing productivity because their employees are spending time on social networks instead of working. It could be hard to keep your employees from going onto their favorite social networking sight when they can even just press a button on their phone to get to it. On my phone it only take me four motions to get onto my Facebook.

Privacy is a big concern especially for someone like me who is going to become a teacher. A big negative is an employer being able to look up your social networking sight and see the things you put on there. My generations especially really loves to share everything on their social networking friends and some of that may come back to hunt you.

The positives are all things that many of us really benefit from and are the reasons why we have social networking. The first one that Harry Bhanot talks about is keeping in touch with others. This is an obvious one to me. Everyone is curious about how that popular girl or guy from high school turned out or who is dating who these days. This is also great for people like me who are far away from their friends and family. All I have to do is sign into my Social networking sight and I can see new pictures and updates about what everyone is up to. This is kind of linked to his second point which is a support group. I have my family as my friends on mine as well as friends who give me support when it is needed.

The next two are strengthening relationships and communities. These are really great plusses because with our economy doing so bad it really helps to be able to give a shout out to your favorite local business or post something about a local fundraiser. It is just so easy to get people involved.

His last point is another source of news. I am really skeptical about any news I read that I find on a social   networking sight because it is like a wiki where anyone can post anything. so unless you are double checking your information social networking is a sketchy place to get your news.

Over all I enjoy Social networking sites but it is a love hate relationship because I do miss having to take and extra effort to keep in touch with people I think that it is important that we  show effort in order to have good relationships. At the same time it is nice to just click a few buttons and see what everyone is up to.